Click a Word - Any Word

I just discovered something very cool on the New York Times website. They have enabled a reference or dictionary search for any word in any article.

The following note appears at the bottom of articles. "To find reference information about the words used in this article, double-click on any word, phrase or name. A new window will open with a dictionary definition or encyclopedia entry."

Unlike many other sites that have visible hyperlinks for keywords that you can click on, this applies to the whole article. The words are shown in a normal format (not underlined or blue). Ordinarily, I like links to be obvious from a useability standpoint, but in this instance, it is not necessary, nor desirable to make every word look like a link.

This feature may have been around for a while, but this is the first time I've seen it, and I felt compelled to comment. I think it is a really effective use of technology to make the text of an article more relevant that it otherwise might be. Kudos NYT!

Chinese Ladies for Marriage

I saw this ad while playing Scrabulous. Kind of a bizarre subject for an ad (maybe there's more to Scrablulous players that I want to know about). What made me laugh though was the fact that 4 of the 6 women are tagged as "New". The other two are last year's models? Demos maybe?

In Defense of Medium!

What happened to medium?

We all used to watch TV on medium size screens, now we watch either on big-screen TVs or hand-held devices like iPods. I like my big TV and my video iPod, don't get me wrong. I'm just wondering when medium went out of style.

When you order a small drink at a movie, you are told that they no longer have small. You can have Medium, Large or Extra-Large (even trash-can size). So, there's no small. Or is there??? Doesn't this just mean the Medium is Small. Sucks to be demoted, especially in such a public way. (Clothes are the same way, medium is really small - or maybe that's relative - never mind)

On the roads one often finds oneself between a Suburban and a Mini. Whatever happened to the mid-size cars? Even at the car-rental place you reserve a medium size car. When you get there, they don't have any mid-size. How 'bout an upgrade to a full-size. I wonder if they ever had the mid-size there in the first place. Hmm.

Of course there is the show Medium, but this post is about things that are 'medium', not 'mediocre'.

Goodbye Analog!

I have been on a mission recently to digitize everything analog in my life. Where once this was impractical due to expensive technology and disk space, this has now become unimpractical (eat that spell-checker!) and pretty inexpensive.

So, what do I mean by digitize everything analog? One word - pictures, videos and music (eat that grammar-checker!).

So, why do I want to digitize everything?

A. Digital content doesn't degrade, nor does it get destroyed in a fire or flood (provided that you practice safe backups).
2. Analog content cannot easily be shared.
iii. Digital content doesn't take up very much space (this is important when you have kind of a small house)

I had a few vhs tapes that I wanted to copy to DVD. I had done this a short while ago through a guy who did it for only $6.00 per tape. He closed up his business so I went looking elsewhere. The other local place was charging $30.00 for the first tape, and $15 for each tape after that. Aside from the fact that I don't understand that pricing model I felt that $75 for 4 tapes seemed a little high. So, I thought there has to be a better way. Turns out that there was...

I found a video capture device selling for $80 ($160 minus $80 rebate) that will accept any analog AV input (e.g. component, s-video, coax) and convert to digital, including the software to create dvds with menus, chapters etc. The rebate is still available, follow the link above. So, to recap, I can do as many tapes as I want for $5 more than it would take to do 4. As a bonus, this device is also a tv tuner and DVR so that I could watch and record TV on the computer.

(I know some people who already know about this are saying "Duh! Where have you been? This stuff's been around for a while." I'm not sure it has been so damn cheap though.)

Another thought occurred to me which makes this device that much more valuable than I thought it was. I can hook up my turntable to this and capture all of the music that I have on vinyl. (For those of you younger than 30, let me explain turntable and vinyl... Actually never mind, you don't need to know.) There is music that I haven't even been able to find in digital form, and would have gladly (sort-of) paid for it had I found it. So, as I write this, I am listening to, and ripping, music that I might not have ever listened to again otherwise.

With respect to pictures, I noticed on a recent flight to San Francisco that the Sky Mall (great mall, but I don't like the food court) was offering a slide/negative scanner for $99. Seems impossibly cheap.

My father has lots of old slides that I'd love to see again, especially since I probably slept through the first time I saw them. I told him about this scanner and he decided to give it a go. I've had a chance to try it for scanning about 4 rolls of negatives and, for the price it works pretty well. It's not professional quality, but with a little digital cleanup work you can get a decent scan. Even if you were just using it as a means to store a digital backup that is not as easily destroyed as physical media it's worth the money. I plan to either get my own, or borrow it once and a while. I'd love a professional quality scanner, but $99 seems like my kind of price.

A while back I bought a 500Gb hard drive for about $130 for backups (one of the necessary realities of going all digital). I've also backed up everything I have so far to DVD (23 of them) and put those in the safe. Next time I see a good deal on hard drives I think I will get another so that it can be stored in the safe which would just be easier and safer than what I've got now.

Gotta pause for a minute here. The LP is finished. Back in a sec while I switch albums...

Okay, I'm back. Just replaced Streetnicks by the Shuffle Demons with True Stories by Talking Heads. Where was I? Oh yeah.

Now that I have my content in digital form, it's now time to share it. I am using my account on Flickr for sharing photographs, and My Photos on Facebook for sharing snapshots. I've set up a channel on YouTube and I recently posted a lot of videos (mostly old 8mm videos that my Dad recorded onto VHS which I have now tranferred to digital).

The applications I am using are: WinDVD Creator for video capture and editing (it came with the device and works pretty well), Spin It Again for capturing music from LPs, and I don't recall the app that came with the scanner but it worked pretty well (though not very intuitive - what do you expect for $99 all-in).

From Your Neighourhood Wordologist

I happen to be something of a wordologist, and I thought I would share some of my nowledge with y'all. Enjoy!

redouble: (v) To quadruple. As in "I redoubled my efforts in this game which by my calculation is 3.6 times better than the other guy that gave only 110%"

respectator: 1. (n) To be a polite spectator. 2. (v) To go to a sporting event again. 3 (v) To eat your potatoes.

alligators: (n-pl) Not just some of them. All of them!

godfearing: (adj) Suffering from both dyslexia and a canine phobia.

disregard: (v) To not gard again.

uncledisestablishmentarianism: (n) The longest word (by one letter) in the english language

Unitarian: (adj) Not from Itaria.

disarmament: (n) Something that mean kids do to ants and other bugs sometimes (see also 'diswingament').

unrepentant: (adj) Not willing to be pentant again (see pentant).

habilitation: (?) The first time you go somewhere to get help getting off drugs.

anticrastinate: (v) Preferring to do things now rather than leave for later.

design: (v) Take your name off a list.

resign: (v) Put your name back on a list.

bossanova: (n) The new person at work that you report to.

superior: (n) The very best kind of 'ior'.

jest: (u) More than 'jer', and a lot more than 'j'.

assuage: (n) Income from gay prostitution.

minimum: (n) Dwarf mother.

pentant: (adv) Something you can choose to not do again. (see 'unrepentant')

earwig: (n) Artificial ear hair for those that wish to look more aged.

deride: (v) To exit an amusement part ride, as in "When the seatbelt broke the youngster was derided almost immediately".

protein: (adj) In support of young adults.

contain: (adj) Not! in support of young adults.

prosperous: (n) A sperous who chose to play for money.

expensive: (adj) No longer lost in thought.

debated: (v) Attempted to catch with with a hook only.

notary: (adj) Avoiding delay.

avoid: (n) Not invalid.

reflexology: (n) The learning of flex, again.

undeserved: (adj) served

underserved: (adj) this definition

yellow: (v) What you do when someone steps on your toe.

A ROM Without a View

Now, let me begin by saying that I like modern architecture as much as the next guy (which isn't much unless the next guy is a modern architect - sorry Dad!).

During the holidays we took our first trip down to the re-opened Royal Ontario Museum. They closed it for a while to attach the fortress of solitude to the classic old museum building. Well, it's a modified fortress of solitude at least. It's like that but without all the shiny parts.



As I understand it. This structure was meant to be all glass, then they either ran out of money or realized that it snows in Toronto, and they changed the design so that it is mostly what appears to be cheap aluminum siding with the occasional long thin window.

Kind of makes it a little less crystal-like. Plus, if they had more windows you could see the displays from the street and maybe want to visit. Instead you might want to rush past this museum that is posing as a futuristic jail or mental institution.


So, the outside looks terrible (see webcam image from above, above).

Perhaps the inside looks better. Perhaps not. It's very dark inside. Maybe they saved on lights because they thought it would be all glass and they wouldn't need many. The impression we had (that has been echoed by others who have visited) is that it seems as though they ran out of money before they got a chance to finish the walls. A little paint over that drywall would have gone a long way. In their defense, I think they put a single coat of primer.

There was one part of the renovation that I did like. It was the interior wall that used to be the exterior wall of the original building. I took a picture of it, but it was too dark. Dang!

Here are some pictures from the original building. The image on the right is the ceiling of the grand entrance (rotunda?).


And here's the front. Classic architecture, grand entrance. Did I mention the grand entrance?



I have another beef. They didn't seem to put any bathrooms in the extension. James and I had to travel deep into the old building to find the bathroom that we were told was "behind the crocodile".

Watching TV recently I saw the dinosaur display at the Natural History Museum in London, England. Ancient bones set against classic architecture. Maybe it's too much to aspire to (see image below), but at least they could have aspired at least a little.

Natural History Museum (sadly not the ROM)

And for this, they removed the dinosaur bones from the ROM for a couple of years, and spent eleventy trillion dollars. I'm speechless!

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Bang your head! Metal Health'll drive you mad

I have struggled with mental health (depression and anxiety) over the last several years, and for some reason I feel compelled to tell the story. This is in part because (spoiler alert!) I am feeling alot better now, and because I know that there is no need to keep it a secret. There is a temptation to keep things under wraps, but perhaps others who are struggling may read this and get help. Don't let a real or imagined stigma prevent you from getting help.

So, my story follows below. It's all true, at least as much as I remember. Which brings me to my first topic.

The Persistence of Memory
I remember when I first started to lose my memory. Well, actually I don't remember, but I know that over 10 years ago I started to record facts in a document I called "Kevin's Memory". This is something not done by people who are comfortable in being able to remember. For a long time I could remember only some simple facts about when I was younger, but no subjective memories. I asked my family questions about what it was like growing up etc.

I recall a couple of years ago attending a parenting course with Anne. They divided the parents up according to birth order (i.e. first child, middle child etc.) so that we could discuss all of the similarities of experience when we were growing up. The point was that people of the same birth order often share the same experiences. Problem for me was that I couldn't describe what it was like to grow up. This is not a good thing.

In a strange twist of fate, my memory has come back. This summer over a two week period everything changed. I still can't explain it, but it has been a major part of my recovery. I don't recall everything, but I think I remember about the same amount that most people do of their childhood. It's hard to overestimate the importance of being able to remember your past.

Anxiety (17 pts in Scrabble or Great Discomfort)
While the problem with memory was strange it wasn't particularly uncomfortable. I didn't know that I was suffering from anxiety but I did know that I was having terrible and persistent stomach and back pain. For my stomach problems I saw several specialists and had lots of tests done with no result. I even saw (and paid) a Naturopathic doctor for a while, also to no avail.

The anxiety became more obvious when I had what I think of as a bit of a breakdown, but was really a serious attack of anxiety. I became overwhelmed, mainly with work, but with everything really. Fortunately this led to me being referred to a psychotherapist which definitely helped for a while. The help was offset, unfortuntely, by the roughly $7000 it cost because it wasn't covered by OHIP (talk about anxiety).

What I was diagnosed with was Generalized Anxiety Disorder which is basically a state where you are constantly in a heightened state of stress. Muscles tighten up, breath becomes shallow, and even minor difficulties amplify these effects. Not fun, as you might imagine.

After about a year, I decided to keep my money and try to work things out myself.

The Not-So-Great Depression
A little before, and during the time where James was born (about 5 1/2 years ago) the anxiety returned. The anxiety and the persistent, frustrating and serious back pain really got to me over time, and depression was piled on top of the anxiety.

While anxiety is difficult and frustrating, depression is hell. For a long time few things could make me happy, and I was always feeling very negative thoughts. I lost interest in things that had given me satisfaction, and I felt that my life pretty much sucked. Looking at it now (and before then) I would say that by any objective measure I am very fortunate and life doesn't suck.

One other key aspect of depression was doubt. It's hard to admit when you have depression. It feels as though feeling crummy is a normal thing that all people feel. Who am I to suggest that I deserve to feel any better than others have the right to feel. It also feels as though a constant state of unhappiness is perhaps some kind of personality flaw. A feeling characterized by thoughts like "If I'm unhappy it is because of who I am and the choices I've made in my life". Another very frustrating symptom was a difficulty in concentrating and focusing on things.

This got bad enough a few years ago that the doubt was overcome by a certainty that there was a problem. I went to my doctor and insisted that I need help. I don't want to think about what life would be like had I not done that. Fortunately I never actually wanted to commit suicide, but I knew that it could get to that, and it was on my mind. Healthy people generally don't spend much time thinking about this kind of thing.

I was referred to a psychiatrist, and I accepted something I had resisted to that point - anti-depressant medication. There was an immediate effect, but the dose had to be increased several times as the benefits seemed to wear off after a while. The medication I am on is called Effexor and it treats both depression and anxiety. There are a few side effects, but I feel very fortunate to have been able to benefit from its effects overall.

I saw a series of psychiatrists, psychotherapists and psychoanalysts over the last few years. Most of them pretty bad at their job, in my humble opinion. One, who I saw for nearly a year, suggested that I take up smoking weed to relax. I'm not so put out that he was recommending something illegal, but I later found out that marijuana creates bad side-effects with the medication that I was on (and that he prescribed). Fortunately I didn't take him up on it.

My most recent doctor (a psychoanalyst) has been great, and I've been feeling very well for the last 6 months or so. Even to the point that we decided I can take a break from therapy for a while. I will return within the next six months or so to start working on reducing my medications.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!
The causes of bad periods of depression (or anxiety) were not always obvious, and likewise it isn't entirely clear why things have gotten better, but there are a few things that have really seemed to help.

Whether the mysterious restoration of memory was caused by improvements in my symptoms or whether a renewed interest in my past helped to improve the symptoms I may never know, but they undoubtedly are related.

During the time where I didn't feel well I fell out of touch with many friends. I have, over the past 6 months sought out to reestablish many of these connections, with great success so far. I have (had) been a very social person and focusing alot on social interaction has had profound effects.

By coincidence, the period where this improvement really began occurred right around the same time many people signed up for Facebook. It has made reestablishing contact with old friends incredibly easy, and I believe that the many times I have gotten together with friends in the last six months (and even the last week) can be directly attributed to Facebook. It has also inspired me to source out old pictures from my family and friends which has further helped with my memory. Professionally it has helped also in that it has made me want to explore more of the new online technologies and services which can only help in my job (since knowing that stuff really kind of is my job).

I'd Like To Thank ...
I'm very fortunate that I am surrounded by people who have been very understanding during this time. First but not least is my wife Anne. Living with someone suffering from depression, in particular, is not easy. It has definitely created challenges for us in our marriage, but she has been great. We attended marriage counseling last year for a while, not because we were at any great risk of splitting up, but we saw that it needed work and we were enduring challenges that required some extra attention. I'm very thankful to her for everything.

I have also received a great deal of understanding from my work, in particular, Pat, Silva and Jason. Thanks alot guys! Thanks also to all those old friends who didn't disown me after years of silence.

What Now?
Unfortunately, one of the things I have learned about depression it that it has a tendency to come back, possibly when you least expect it. I am expecting this struggle to be a long-term one, if not a lifetime. Fortunately I now know not to ignore it or to assume that it is nothing (or a personality flaw), and that it isn't something to be embarrassed by or ashamed of. I know to seek help and I will. I have also learned to not accept a bad psychiatrist. If someone seems like there not a good fit, they may not be and there's nothing wrong with asking to be referred to someone else.

I also have learned that social contact is critical to my well being. There was a time that I looked fondly back on my very social younger years (which I still do) but I thought that they were a thing of the past now that I have grown up and have a family etc. I may not be able to stay out quite as late, or drink quite as much as I used to, but I can still enjoy a good social life. And good friends remain good friends no matter how long it has been since I've hung out with them.

A Final Note
I read a book called Against Depression which combats the stigma of depression and offers a good commentary on the history of how depression and those who suffer it has been regarded by society. One interesting thing that it points out is that some (though it can't be many) have argued against curing depression on the grounds that our society would have missed out on great works of art and literature had depression not existed. We might not have had great paintings from Van Gogh, music from the likes of Mozart or literature from the likes of Ernest Hemingway (not sure if he was depressed but you get the idea). I find this position absolutely absurd. At what cost did these works come to society?

Anyway depression sucks. Anxiety sucks nearly as much, and I hope you never have to suffer from either. If you do, or suspect that you do, don't wait. Get help. I did. There wasn't a quick fix, but I feel great today and I'll take this feeling over how I felt a couple of years ago any day of the week.

If you're having troubles and want to talk about any of this, send me an email or give me a call. I'm happy to discuss in more detail.

BTW - I don't have the rights to use any of the images featured here but I'm trying not to stress about it.